WEE... taking a rest now after studying for like two hours just now ^^ tmr english paper but i'm studying geog O.o language paper cannot study one lo. :P haha. 

GOOD LUCK TO ME AND YOU !! ALL THE BEST!! JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!!!!!! ^^

i've tried, and you may say i manage to move on... but the truth is i've not...  since its exam period, i'm putting my studies first.. and i shall not think too much about it now.. though i'm tired, i continue as i don't want to cause any problems... is it me or is it you? i have no idea.... i've tried to understand you perhaps i failed..

i can't breathe without you, but i have to. 

hey, i don't think i going to post anything alr. perhaps i change my url (and not going to tell anyone my url) OR i will post but wont be so often as there's nothing happy in my life le ^^ so yeah! BBYEE !! 

times flies, people change. but my feelings towards you never change. not even abit. Do you???
feel like crying! feel like giving up but don't know on wad !! :'( i'm confuse. i really don't know wad to do. i hate my life now!!!! :'( :'(

Falling in love with him is something I hadn’t expected. but being in love with him is something I couldn’t stop even if I tried.

Will you make my birthday wish come true? if i were to wish for you to be mine? if were to wish to have you back? if i were to wish to be with you forever? will you??? :'(

I'm so tired of waiting here
you know, don't you know just how I feel
I'm so tired of waiting here
do you even still remember my name

if a day goes by, I'll still remember you
if a month goes by, I'll still hold on to you
can you just try to understand how I feel

 I'll go crazy cause I'm waiting here
and every day feels like it's just been a year
oh I, I'm still waiting here,
I kept on thinking that you would just come back
or if I turned around, then you'd be smiling back
oh I, I'm going crazy

I'm still holding back, until you come back
and yes,, I'm waiting for you
if a month goes by, I'll still remember you
if a year goes by, I'll still hold on to you
can you just try to understand how I feel


why does it have to be so hard
and everything's crazy in my head
waiting, waiting, Waiting, so long
still no answers, just a song
it didn't have to be so hard
why did you have to make it so hard


I'll be waiting, even for a year
and even for a decade, I'll be waiting here
Oh  I'll wait until I die.

i don't know wad i want. i don't know wad i want to do now. i don't know where to go now. i am totally lost! you know wad, i wish that i can get an car accident that can make me lost my memories. then i know no one! isn't that gonna be better for me?? i will forget everyone!! i will forget all the pain and hurts. isn't that good? i just wan to be happy! i don't wan to fake it! i seriously hate myself now! everyday before i sleep, i wish and hope that i can go through this alone. ALONE. but i can't. i really can't! no one will understand me. no one will understand how i feel. NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND! :'( god, please guide me through this. show me the right path. give me the strength to face this. if possible don't make me be in this kind of situation. i really couldn't face it and i really couldn't take it. its really hard for me. turn the darkness into light, will you? .. invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away!

Strange day for me today and worst moment(s) EVER! :@ :( :'(  hate it le... who shall i go to when i'm down now?? :( who shall/can make me happy back?? i doubt no0ne de :( sob sob :'( bahhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SHUTUP LA ATHIRAH!! STOP THINKING ALL THIS LA!!!!!!!!! BITCH!!

Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you.

I didn't want my picture taken because I was going to cry.  I didn't know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and I'd cry.  I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full.

I've made my decision but why am i still looking back?? i thought i finally manage to overcome it? damn no ): i realize i was just faking.. for wad? i don't even know for wad and why.. -.- wad i told myself before was just a piece of shit !! why should i promise myself not to do this? its useless! i will still continue doing it!! :@ at the first place why should i bother??! if i don't bother, i will not do this???/ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz -.- arghhhhhh

14 sept- HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAWIYAH!
15 sept- HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUNNY!!
16 sept- HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERICK!
17 sept- HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAN QING!
18 sept - no one :D
19 sept- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!! ♥♥ :D

My eyes have no more tears to cry, but like the sun shining up above, you surround me with your endless love. My life is yours alone, the only love I know. Your spirit pulls me through when nothing else will do. Every night I pray on bended knees, that you'll always be my everything.

Maybe its wrong to say i love you, because i know you never do.
Maybe its wrong to say please love me too because i know someone is waiting for you,
Maybe its wrong to love you more and more each day because i know you're now far away.


Whatever it is i just want you to know that i still love you ! trust me i really do.

 I love you. You make every detail in the world beautiful, and I see how gorgeous and bright everything is. Everything is better, and perfection becomes an understatement. I would not only die for you, I would live for you. You make me feel weightless, you make chores fun - as long as you're by my side - you make my disturbing days into fairy tales, you make me feel like I'm the only person in the world, like suddenly all eyes are on me and I feel infinite, important, and beautiful. You make me feel like the luckiest girl alive.
sunny i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!

no words can ever describe wad/how i am feeling right now! i just can'r stop crying! haiz..............................
ATHIRAH I HATE YOU! CAN YOU STOP BEING WEAK!!! CAN YOU STOP CRYING!!! CAN YOU JUST FORGET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I WAN TO BE MYSLEF!!!! THE GIRL I USED TO BE!! THE GIRL WHO ALWAYS SMILE AND LAUGH LIKE A RETARD!! THE GIRL WHO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH!! OTHER WORDS; THE GIRL WHO IS ALWAYS CHEERFUL AND HAPPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just wan to be me ; the girl i am before !! look at me now??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! always moody, always fake a smile, always cry!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M TIRED!! I AM SERIOUSLY TIRED OF FACING ALL THIS!!


~A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried

050910 ♥ should be our memorable day for us.. but sadly to say our happy and memorable day ended one month ago. ): )': if you were to ask me if i am still hurt, the ans will be yes. if you were to ask me if i'm still crying over you, the ans will be yes. :'( the pain is still here. my heart is still in pieces. What more can i do? sigh~~ :'(

i'm feeling very lonely and empty ): sigh~ hate this kind of feelings. i want you and i need you by my side ): 

I’m the type of person, who likes to keep everything bottled up. I’m not the type to just break down in front of everyone. I like to put on a fake smile to let everyone know the person outside is smiling, while the person inside is hurting. Then, when I’m finally alone, that’s when I can let everything out. Explaining myself is just too hard, I’d rather be alone and cry, rather than explaining myself while crying.

I miss you a little. A little too much, a little too often and a little more each day.


yes i miss you.. but i can never tell you that anymore. neither could i tell you that i still love you.. cause i'm not your gf alr and i mean nothing to you .. what else can i do? sighh.. anyway got back my progress record . i fail nothing ^^ though i improved, i wasn't happy with the overall. ): position in class 13/38 ! ): aiyo... ): so now i'm gonna use this one week break wisely ^^ haha ! 
Fav quote : ^^

A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried

i finally tore those paper and OFF they go into the bin! but there's one thing that i dare not to throw ! ): but even if i did. nothing can stop me from _____... cause you're still in my head and still in my heart! i'm down today. but i still fake a smile. but among all the friends i have, only my junior, peilin knew i was faking a smile ^^.  sigh... i don't know wad to say liao. i don't know wad to do liao... why should i bother anyway? its no use! what the use of all this?!!!  sigh~~~~~~ so i should continue and keep working on it !! i don't want more tears rolling down my cheek because of you.. :'(

i am so pissed off with my family :@ i want go to my mother house la ! i love them more !

yesterday was fun :) i break fast at my mother house. cause its her birthday :) then my sister sacrifices her work just to break fast tgt with me :D She ordered pizza :) haha so we ate pizza :) so yesterday i went to her house at 5pm help my mother and 2nd sis with the cake :) we were baking cake for hari raya :D ^^ then after break fast, my mother cut the cake ^^ YAY! :D then went out with my sisters ^^ then they send me home at 10 ): . this is the first time i get to spent time with them until this late lo. i miss them liao ): especially my mother ): and sisters ): sigh~~

i've been trying to forget it. but i can't. All the memories are flowing in my head again. and there's still teardrops. its gonna be one month soon but i sill could not accept the fact?? why?? i'm tired ! :'(  i'm tired of thinking. i'm tired of crying. i'm tired of trying. i'm tired of missing. i'm just tired of everything!! :'( what else can i do? :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(