[/I]RA!♥♥!: August 2010

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I might hug other guys, i might laugh with other guys, i might even hang
out with other guys.. but none of them will ever mean to me as much as
you do.

I can pretend to be okay with everything. I can pretend to be strong. I can pretend to be genuinely happy. But at the end of the day, pretending isn't satisfying.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Take my hand, I'll take the lead And every turn, will be safe with me Don't be afraid, afraid to fall You know I'll catch you through it all And you can't keep us apart 'Cuz my heart is wherever you are ♥

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I'm back from school ! woah so tired after the band investiture ): its was so intensive (drills) sigh.. but we looked smart ^^ xD i'm quiet form morning... dont really know wad i want! i'm lost! totally lost!!!! anyway gave sam the chocolate + card i made. then he gave us (each) 4 kitkat one cracker and two small chocolate. ^^ OOOOOO!!! I was assigned as Assistant section leader !

Friday, August 27, 2010

Hey just came back from causeway ! bought chocolate for sam :) sigh~~ so not excited for tmr :( today break fast alone at home :(

well i knew it! i knew that will be the answer!! But i still don't understand whY?! ...........................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................=.= :'(

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Today went band room at 3pm to try the band uniform :) the blazer i took size 'xs' so big sia -.- then when i took size 's' it fits me :D lol.. the the white shirt was big too ): but i never change as i am too lazy to find one :( cause was like too many clothes there and don't know which one is boys one and which one is girls one cause all looked the same and they were mixed tgt :x had a hard time finding the ideal one lo :( so i got mine liao except for the white shirt its big :x but if wear blazer then cannot see :) but if never wear blazer leh... it will be big lo :x :( can't wait for investiture this sat!(yeah right) i got solo leh!!! SOLO :) !! ); but sad to say my family don't wan support me de so i perform my solo to STRANGERS ): ): oh well nothing can be done here.. :( so gonna buy chocolate for sam (exchange of gifts) i wonder what will he gave us as return? hmm .. But i'm so not looking forward to this saturday ):
i can't bring up the matter liao.. as i know wad i will get in return. and i know i can't bear it. but its killing me inside :x why am i so weak? why can't i just accept it? why must i dwell on it? why am i such a fool?!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you!

i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you!i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you!

i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you!

Friday, August 20, 2010

When the the world comes crashing down and the skies begin to fall,
I'll wait for you.
When the days grow old and long and my skin turns into stone,
I'll wait for you.
When the pain it seems too much,
And my heart starts beating out of touch, I don't need a thing,
I'll wait for you. :'(

~I love the way you smile at me. ;)
~I miss you and your silly random texts. ♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ i still love you as much as i love you in the past ! ♥

Thursday, August 19, 2010

hey ppl i'm down again :( like always ~ :( though i can laugh and smile , you don't and will never know how i feel inside.. :P anyway yesterday swimming was okay la :) was high when wanna go home ;x lol. hmm i am thinking of wad to give sam for the investiture next saturday! why he vegetarian ?! make my life complicated onli ! LOL ! anyway today school , i wasn't paying attention the whole day ! :P was busy doing something else ! cause i wanna complete it asap! then can give him (not sam) :) but like out of sudden i wanna give sia ? ):
eh i lazy do music ar. Can i not do? but wad if cher scold? ): later i kena ! but i not leader oso . sigh~~ aiyo nvm le i do abit can liao :) so BYE !!!!!!!!!!!

Lyrics:
Everything's cool, yeah
It's all gonna be okay, yeah
And I know,
Maybe I'll leave and
laugh about it someday

But not today, no
Cause I don't feel so good
I'm tangled up inside
My heart is on my sleeve
Tomorrow is a mystery to me

(Chorus)
And it might be wonderful
It might be magical
It might be everything I've waited for,
A miracle
Oh, but even if I fall in love again
with someone else
It could never be the way I loved you

Letting you go is
making me feel so cold, yeah
And I've been trying to make
believe it doesn't hurt

But that makes it worse, yeah
See, I'm a wreck inside
My toung is tied and my
whole body feels so weak
The future may be all I really need

(Chorus)
And it might be wonderful, yeah
It might be magical, uh oh
It might be everything I've waited for,
A miracle
Oh, but even if I fall in love again
with someone else
It could never be the way I loved you

Like a first love,
the one and only true love
wasn't it written all over my face, yeah
I loved you like you loved me (oh)
Like something pure and holy
Like something that can never be replaced

And it was be wonderful,
It was magical,
It was everything I've waited for,
A miracle
And if I should ever fall in love again
with someone new
Oh, It could never be the way
No, It will never be the way
I loved you.

They way i loved you - selena gomez
nice song with a very nice lyrics :)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I am down now )': aiyo... i everyday down wan lo... my headache is not getting better ! ): anyway gonna break fast at kfc ! yeah~ :D sigh~~ math textbook dont have how to do math hw ?! aiyo.. some more i very lazy to do hw .. :x sci like so many page le :x math can la 4 question only.. sigh~~~~~~~~~~~ tmr going yog ;x swimming :)

Dear _____ , I need you now ! I want to be with you now !

Monday, August 16, 2010

Yesterday went esplanade for the band concert.. After religious class straight away go out :x tired sia.. so took mrt with 'wonderfools' halfway around yio chu kang feel very dizzy. then i was like hoping people will give seat ! aiyo.. then when i was about to like faint and vomit then ppl give me seat. -.- lucky got one aunty give me plastic bag for me to vomit :D haha ! then feel better abit.. then we went helix bridge before going to the concert. The view was so nice :) sunset was beautiful :) everything is there except you :( LOL... then went for concert :) nice le :) then after concert go mac. :) with seniors :) fun :) haha :) then reach home at 11.50 pm :) HAHA ! :) now like very tired and no mood le.. so will post tmr if i have time :) been very busy lately. :x

Friday, August 13, 2010

I'M BORED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol.. i've been thinking of wad to wear to esplanade on sunday for the concert :) ! ): donnoe wan wear skirt or long dress ? but must wear heels :) hahas ! LOL..

bored

i wan you ! :P lol...

The rain falls because the sky can no longer handle its heaviness. Just like the tears. Its falls because The heart can no longer handle the pain.

Hey ! i'm back le :) so tired.. feel like breaking my fast now :x but no ! i must be resilience ! :) hahahas ! School just now was so BORING !! Halfway feel like vomiting again :x and halfway became sad and sad and sad over things again! just can't stop thinking about it! SIGH ~~~ yesterday play with scissors and cut my pointy finger :x then just now play again cut my pinky :x tmr cut my hold hand ! :P hahas ! dont know wad to talk le.. so BBBYYYEEEE~

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Things became very awkward and strange for me ): its kinda weird too.. ); why is it turning this way? why is it becoming this way? i don't like it ): but wad can i do? the ans is : NOTHING ..:x
you people only know how to say and only want to know about things.. but do you people really know how/wad i am feeling? i bet no right? then wads the use of knowing the story ??
Not all people know this, some still thought we still tgt.. and they still wishing last long? i didn't say anything but just smile ~ some ask me we still tgt ? and i said........ ^^ (up to you; readers to think) :) ):
sigh~~~ don't know wad to do liao luhh sometimes it just pissed me off ... ): got nothing to say le.. i'm tired ); and why am i not receiving your msg ): ?
well ~ bye

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Aiyo.. i thought i would be able to cope it, able to move on.. But today prove me wrong ! zz -.- sigh ~~
was like gonna break down (in the middle of something) but phew .. i was able to control it :)
If i could shout/scream my lungs out, it would be nice.. if i could cry and filled a bucket , it would be amazing, but i can't stop loving you..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, August 9, 2010

~Tears are words the heart can't express
~He taught me how to love, but not how to stop
~Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare after having the best dream
~True love is when you shed a tear and still want him
~The times we were happy together are worth the times I cry alone
~Real loss only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself
~It's amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces
~Wherever you are, you'll always be in my heart
~In my dreams you're mine forever
~If you love me so much, why are you walking away?
~A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried
~ You can close your eyes to things you don't wanna see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't wanna feel.
~i still cry every night thinking of those words you said to me.
~I've never wanted somebody as much as I wanted you. Strong,deep and oh different.

I STILL LOVE YOU SO DAMN BADLY !!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“Who wants that? I’d rather choose to fall in love and be hurt. Sometimes I can’t even sleep because I love someone too much. And there’s always sadness in our lives. It’s that sad feeling that keeps is going.”

Sunday, August 8, 2010

i still want and need you by my side ): even a single msg can make me happy.. i suddenly feel so lonely and empty... feel like crying again ! argh . why am i so weak ?! SSSUUUUNNNNNNYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥ ♥♥♥♥♥

~ I want you more than anything in the whole world. I don’t want to share you. I want you to be mine, and I want you forever.

I have been trying my best to save this relationship ... Well I believe If both of us still love each other , nth can seperate us a part.. Like wad shirleen told me.. And thanks to her i'm feeling better now though I still upset and tears stil rolling down my cheeck , I need to be strong! But I know I still love him and he still love me and that's all I need to know.. I will never give up on him and I will love him no matter what.. I'm gonna remember what you told me , that I am your first and you will love me no matter what :) I hoped you will remain the same feelings toward me no matter wad :) I love you sunny and I will always love you no matter wad <3 :)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Hey i know i've been pressuring you.. i know i've made you stress,frustrated,annoyed etc.. i couldn't help myself.. i don't know why i really want this relationship to goes on. even with my first stead , i wasn't like this (seriously) there is and there must be something special about your that i can't bear to lose. i knw i've made u angry,sad,i'm sorry.but u nvr fail to tell me that i'm forgiven . thank you :) i really can't believe that this is happening.. everyday before i go to sleep, i wished that we'll patch back and when i woke up, i thought it was just a bad dream(that we broke up) but when i saw your messages i realise it wasn't a dream.. it was rea.. and i start to cry.. i cried alot but i'm not feeling better.. you know wad, when we were about our 2nd or 3rd month, there was once i felt like breaking up with u.but i didn't.. i secretly gave you a chance. hoping that things will be better (so called hoping that there will be miracle) and things do get better :) so why can't u give me a chance ? we will tgt make things better. (it takes two hands to clap) i never regret being with you, i nvr regret loving you. wad i regret is that i can't make you be mine again ! i;ve done,tried everything i could (not saying i;m wasting my time) but why can't you give yourself a chance? give me a chance? i did told you about my family prob right? i felt like i'm being ignored by them including my bro. and recently my parent had a fight. and you know wad? my mother is thinking of divorcing.. you get wad i mean ? they are too busy wif their stuff that they forget about my bro and i . its like they have not show/give their love to us anymore. so when i met you,when i start loving you,when i start having relationship with you. i feel safe and comfortable and most of all i get to feel your love ! even when we go through thick and thin, i knew that you will always be here with me. i knew i still have you with me. you remember when i'm jealous about you and caili? i was so damn jealous that i cry and hate her cause i scared i will lose you and i scared you will fall for her. but i kew you wouldn't :) you still remember at food court? i was writing something and you thought i was doing math. you know wad i write? i write points/reasons why/wad i enjoyed being with you.. 1)i get to be by your side 2) i get to see you smile 3) i get to hear your laughter 4)i can randomly sing 'you are my sunshine' to you 5)i feel safe and comfortable with you 6)i get to pei you 7) i can/get to hold you 8)i can randomly say' i love you ' to you. 9)i can be myself when i'm around you. 10) i can laugh like a retarded and you don't mind :) 11) i get a goodnight wish and a indirect kiss every night 12) i get to share all my prob wif you. 13) i am happy being with you. For now i may have 13 points but if our relationship goes on, i might have more to add. we've been tgt for 6 month and you wan this to end just like that ? like i said lets give ourselves a chance? we will tgt make things better? i'm sure and i believe we can. i am willing to wait for you. i am willing to give a chance. but the question lies on you. are you willing to do so ?i really love you from my bottom of my heart. i know just now i've send a msg and say 'for the very last time' ignore that cause i'm gonna give up here. ! i just can't/won't give up on you ! i just hoped you understand how i feel . i hoped you will give yourself,me and our relationship a chance. i will never give up on you! and i hoped not to receive "but i gave up on relationship le" or something like that. i hoped to hear "i'm willing to give another chance and continue this relationship" think carefully.. i'll be waiting for your ans.. i hope not to drop a tears when you ans me .. *finger crossing*
~Athirah

Please give me another chance
We can make things the same
Bring those days back again
All I need is just one chance

All the wonderful moments spent together
We could keep holding on forever
The moments spent in sun and rain
We can bring them back all again

I love you with all my heart
What I just cant do is part
Let us bring back our lost time
I promise everything will be fine

Let me hold you again
I’ll take away all your pain
All I ask is for another chance
Just look at me and give me a chance

You can trust me all right
I promise you never again will we fight
Forget the harsh words and come out of the dark moods
Show me your lovely smile
That same one at least for a while
Don’t break my heart
It’ll tear me apart
I can never ever leave you
‘Cos darling I truly love you

There’s a vacuum in every heart
But you’ll not find that in mine
‘Cos in every bit and every part
You’ll find your portrait shine

You can’t be so unkind
Walking away leaving me behind
Trust me again
Give me your hand
Deep inside I feel the pain
Of a broken heart that needs to be mend
Its only you who can heal
And change the way I feel

I know I’ve hurt you and made your heart pain too
Give me another chance
I’ll take away the darkness from your life

My heart aches if you cry
Please wipe those tears dry
Let this dark night get over
And let a new morning enter our lives
I want to show you how much I care
I want you back at any cost
Our love cannot be come the past

Please o please let me try again
I can take away all your pain
All i ask is one more chance
Just a chance… A mere chance

How do I mend a broken heart?
My entire world has fallen apart.
How do I find hope in a brand new day,
when the one I love has gone away?
My mind overflows with memories of you,
of all that we've shared, all that we knew.
I long for your touch and your warm embrace,
the look in your eyes, the smile on your face.
My dreams are filled with your soft gentle kiss,
I wake and cry for all that I miss.
How do I mend a broken heart,
when my one true love and I are apart?
My heart knows to love only you, it won't let go, what do I do?
Our moments together were precious and few,
but I cherished them all more than you knew.
I love you my angel and always will,
I loved you then and I love you still.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Emotions run deep I feel them in the shy
I feel so empty that my hearts stars to cry
My love is gone and the passions no more
To feel the love of the person I once adored
I lie in bed and let the pain seep through that once
Intertwined me and you, I try to have happiness but the pain won’t
Let go I feel myself dying and dying real slow.
Now that in dying I just want to say that
In my Next life this pain goes away.

But there will always be a place for you
In my heart, in my soul
Time can’t change what I’m feeling for you
You can make me whole

I am heartbroken, It’s not spoken

But it’s there

I am heartbroken
It’s all open
My love is pouring out again

if you are reading this, i just wanna tell you . i love you still. No matter how hurt i am, how sad i am, i still love you with all my heart.. :'( the video/song below is for you..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rc2jsjnt-HY

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Nothing can cheer me up right now ! i'm burst into tears !

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

'tears are words that heart cannot say"

You are hurting me ! Every single tears that dropped is all because of you ! i just can't stop crying and all thanks to YOU ! Have you ever care ?! Were you there when i need you ?! Were you able to cheer me up ?! You totally spoiled my day ! arghhhh!!! i'm so f****ing pissed off with youuuuuuu!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

i feel like crying right now!!

Life can be so unfair.
~cooking meals takes hour but eating it takes only few minutes.
~constructing a buildings takes six month but blowing it up takes 30 seconds.
~Earning up 10 000 takes 30 days, but but paying the cashier 8000 for a product only takes a seconds.
However its pretty much amazing that
~ a one second kiss on your cheek can make your day,
~ a five second glimpse on your crush can make your week and,
~ a ten second hug can take away your one year of pain !

Sigh.. idk if wad i am feeling right now is right or not . Things turns up eventually without me knowing .. How can i simply ignore it ? i don't know wad should i do . wad is the right thing i have to do ? .... you are not doing wad you should do . in fact other people are doing it ! but shouldn't it be you ? so complicated right now... seriously i dont want to talk to you about this ! i dont wish to !! cause i knew wad i'll get in return ! just your bloody stupid WORDS and it hurts me so damn badly!