I've made my decision but why am i still looking back?? i thought i finally manage to overcome it? damn no ): i realize i was just faking.. for wad? i don't even know for wad and why.. -.- wad i told myself before was just a piece of shit !! why should i promise myself not to do this? its useless! i will still continue doing it!! :@ at the first place why should i bother??! if i don't bother, i will not do this???/ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz -.- arghhhhhh

14 sept- HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAWIYAH!
15 sept- HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUNNY!!
16 sept- HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERICK!
17 sept- HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAN QING!
18 sept - no one :D
19 sept- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!! ♥♥ :D

My eyes have no more tears to cry, but like the sun shining up above, you surround me with your endless love. My life is yours alone, the only love I know. Your spirit pulls me through when nothing else will do. Every night I pray on bended knees, that you'll always be my everything.

Maybe its wrong to say i love you, because i know you never do.
Maybe its wrong to say please love me too because i know someone is waiting for you,
Maybe its wrong to love you more and more each day because i know you're now far away.


Whatever it is i just want you to know that i still love you ! trust me i really do.

 I love you. You make every detail in the world beautiful, and I see how gorgeous and bright everything is. Everything is better, and perfection becomes an understatement. I would not only die for you, I would live for you. You make me feel weightless, you make chores fun - as long as you're by my side - you make my disturbing days into fairy tales, you make me feel like I'm the only person in the world, like suddenly all eyes are on me and I feel infinite, important, and beautiful. You make me feel like the luckiest girl alive.
sunny i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!

no words can ever describe wad/how i am feeling right now! i just can'r stop crying! haiz..............................
ATHIRAH I HATE YOU! CAN YOU STOP BEING WEAK!!! CAN YOU STOP CRYING!!! CAN YOU JUST FORGET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I WAN TO BE MYSLEF!!!! THE GIRL I USED TO BE!! THE GIRL WHO ALWAYS SMILE AND LAUGH LIKE A RETARD!! THE GIRL WHO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH!! OTHER WORDS; THE GIRL WHO IS ALWAYS CHEERFUL AND HAPPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just wan to be me ; the girl i am before !! look at me now??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! always moody, always fake a smile, always cry!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M TIRED!! I AM SERIOUSLY TIRED OF FACING ALL THIS!!


~A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried

050910 ♥ should be our memorable day for us.. but sadly to say our happy and memorable day ended one month ago. ): )': if you were to ask me if i am still hurt, the ans will be yes. if you were to ask me if i'm still crying over you, the ans will be yes. :'( the pain is still here. my heart is still in pieces. What more can i do? sigh~~ :'(

i'm feeling very lonely and empty ): sigh~ hate this kind of feelings. i want you and i need you by my side ): 

I’m the type of person, who likes to keep everything bottled up. I’m not the type to just break down in front of everyone. I like to put on a fake smile to let everyone know the person outside is smiling, while the person inside is hurting. Then, when I’m finally alone, that’s when I can let everything out. Explaining myself is just too hard, I’d rather be alone and cry, rather than explaining myself while crying.

I miss you a little. A little too much, a little too often and a little more each day.


yes i miss you.. but i can never tell you that anymore. neither could i tell you that i still love you.. cause i'm not your gf alr and i mean nothing to you .. what else can i do? sighh.. anyway got back my progress record . i fail nothing ^^ though i improved, i wasn't happy with the overall. ): position in class 13/38 ! ): aiyo... ): so now i'm gonna use this one week break wisely ^^ haha ! 
Fav quote : ^^

A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried

i finally tore those paper and OFF they go into the bin! but there's one thing that i dare not to throw ! ): but even if i did. nothing can stop me from _____... cause you're still in my head and still in my heart! i'm down today. but i still fake a smile. but among all the friends i have, only my junior, peilin knew i was faking a smile ^^.  sigh... i don't know wad to say liao. i don't know wad to do liao... why should i bother anyway? its no use! what the use of all this?!!!  sigh~~~~~~ so i should continue and keep working on it !! i don't want more tears rolling down my cheek because of you.. :'(

i am so pissed off with my family :@ i want go to my mother house la ! i love them more !

yesterday was fun :) i break fast at my mother house. cause its her birthday :) then my sister sacrifices her work just to break fast tgt with me :D She ordered pizza :) haha so we ate pizza :) so yesterday i went to her house at 5pm help my mother and 2nd sis with the cake :) we were baking cake for hari raya :D ^^ then after break fast, my mother cut the cake ^^ YAY! :D then went out with my sisters ^^ then they send me home at 10 ): . this is the first time i get to spent time with them until this late lo. i miss them liao ): especially my mother ): and sisters ): sigh~~

i've been trying to forget it. but i can't. All the memories are flowing in my head again. and there's still teardrops. its gonna be one month soon but i sill could not accept the fact?? why?? i'm tired ! :'(  i'm tired of thinking. i'm tired of crying. i'm tired of trying. i'm tired of missing. i'm just tired of everything!! :'( what else can i do? :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(