Its holiday, and I want to do a lot of things. I've yet to plan when to do my homeworks :( somehow I'm so scared to go bck to sch. There is sure a lot of stress for eyo. Shit I can't imagine how bad it will be :( but for now there is a lot of things I wanna do during this one month break.. I got band,i have to do homeworks,i have to catch up with my studies,i wan to do volunteering work,i wan to enjoy with my friends, I wan to stay with my parents at jb. Ugh so many.. So worried :( how to plan ?? Haiz.. Headache manx.. LOL.one month only... Enough meh..

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Now i am on my home after i had my dinner and the parents meeting session. Woah in my entire secondary life, this year i broke my record for failing my math. Whats wrong with me?! I am not happy and sastified.. I die die going to work hard like hell!
For now not going to think abt it le. So far all okay :D all distiction :) but still got room for improvement :) been not feeling well aft dinner :( dizzy :( feels like pucking.. Ha okay bye.

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Yeah yeah i am always at fault! You ask me do this do that, i do and yet i still kena scolding frm you! Yeah yeah he is ALWAYS the best. Go ahead and defend him or whatsoever! Despite me scoring well for my exams, despite helping you with house chores, I AM ALWAYS AT FAULT. yes yes i get that a lot! Like seriously. I wonder what more problems will come to me?! What more can happen at sch and home?! Ugh.

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Wanted to post
BUT
NO mood. Pissed off. BYE.

What a great weekend i have :< seriously its sucks! Everyone is doing their own things and been treating each other as if they're invisible! Wtf?! Mum have not been cooking for three days?! If i knew this will happen i would have went out and not worry or invovle with their stupid attitude towards each other. Spoiled my mood like hell! Might as well divorce, do your own stuff and mind your own life. Idiot! I also don't wish to stay with you and your stupid attitude towards me. You think you're so perfect?! Then go and get a life. You don't even know how to take care of yourself, you want to take care of us?! And yet, after whatever we've done for you, you still ask for more?! Then go die la! If you don't exist in my life, i would not have to taste this suffering!! Call yourself a man?! Go to hell la! This year HariRaya, i am not going to forgive you. I am not not not going to forgive you. Only god knows how i feel. And only god will punish you for all you've done!

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Woke up early today and did nothing except for staring at my computer -.- everyone alseep.. Dad and bro woke up and went out. I was treated as if i am invisable -.- i get that A LOT. Fucking pissed off! Starve myself since yesterday afternoon!! How can i not be angry! Reach home from sch ystd, no food! Then i was treated like i'm invisable. Today morning also no food! Wah... Brother spoil my mood even more! Wtf!!

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Live without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offering.
I trust that everything happens for a reason, even if we are not wise enough to see it. Should I stay or should I go? Either way, I get hurt. It's sad when you realize you aren't as important to someone as you thought you were. maybe i am just someone .. maybe not someone.. maybe a TOY for you to play when you want to .. and when you get bored, you'll leave me aside. I get that a lot! :D you just want me to be with you so that i could go crazy with you.. so that i can make you happy.. YEAH MAYBE? well sometimes i feel this way but sometimes i am blessed.. so yeah.. not saying any names ! SO NOT REFERRING TO ANYONE HOR :D haha.

DEar math and eng, you both are going to make my report card look ugly! I get all straight A's except for you two!! Haiz.. I am so gonna stop the two of you from making my report card looks ugly for end of year!! Hahaha.
Went home no food, went to sleep and just woke up.. Was pissed of my brother! Whatsoever... K bye.

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So far all my results are okay ba. Hehe.
Physics A1
Chemistry A1
Malay A2
Geog A2
Math FLUNK. like hell..
There rest idk.. K its really 'not nice' whem its straight A's but one subject not A :( hoho.. Gonna strive harder! Frankly speaking i did not really study for Mye. So i am gonna buck up!! :D my mum is very happy with my results so far.. Hehe..

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPAW3thQHDg&feature=share
Our syf :( didn't sound like what i expected. LOL . Everyone was so emotional when playing... But when i hear back the recording... hmmmm :( k nothing much...
how i wish i can turn back and do something abt it :o LOL. so IMPOSSIBLE :D

Woah today like very sian for me :(

First period was math, got back our paper one... -.- haiyo... flunk flunk ! :( though i pass, was not very happy :( no hope for paper two.. so confirm fail math ! Aft that geography ! woah even worse.. all the failure remain standing. and i am one of them ! was so shock ! :o thn when teacher call my name "Athirah... 11/25... eh sry i missed out smth... you sit down first" i was like phew... but i was scolded and stand like an idiot for NOTHING . In the end, i passed :D Aft that, went dentist :( before me was herda, saw the dentist injected her mouth ! scary !! when its my turn, i hold to the mirror damn tight.. but since my teeth is okay , didn't took much time :D hehe.. ran up to class and took my physics result :D B3.. okay la... though i expect it to be A1/2 :( LOLOL. aft sch have to wait one hour for meeting... haiyo.... Didn't get to be facil ! :( sad sia.. haiz... but nvm... thn went home . TIRED TTM .

tomorrow, expecting to get chemistry, math paper 2 and malay. But ti don't think i will get to know my malay cause of the SYF celebration :o Then tmr still got CCA ! :O thn there will be majors meeting with sir :o GG sia.. sian.. another tiring day for me :( haiz... okay BYE. 

MATH PAPER 2 = KILLER !
seriously no hope alr for paper two. -.- hate the teacher :D lolol !
OKAY MYE FINALLY OVER :D phew.. BAND START ! YAY ! HOHO .
i should stop my habit alr :) i am just so glad that i finally did the right thing ! wohhooo! hurray ATHIRAH ! :D
hehe... okay i don't know what to post :o okay bye ... HAHAHA

That should be done long time ago, but its not too late, cause i did it and i really did ! :D Thanks to Amalina for forcing me to do whats best for me :) hehe .
Oh god, are you trying to tell me something through my dreams? if yes, please continue doing so.. i wish to know  who is that .
Tomorrow last paper. math paper 2. don't feel like doing revision today :/ LOL. Just reach home at ate my lunch after religious class.. so tired.. oh i shall rest now. BYE.

It should not bother me :) its OVER!
I am still thinking and wondering abt my dream yesterday... Somehow i want to know who is that.. :o haha. Anyway went rp today and did some revision :) all of us was pissed off by SOMEBODY. Ahaha. But yeah.. It was fun.. I am so tired.. Sleeping early tonight. Bye.

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What a nice dream i had last night? :) but i so called forget everyone that appear in my dream :( i am recalling who is the guy that was in my dream.. I forget :( so sad :( haiz.
Going out later maybe :) hehe. Okay bye.

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I am being who i am :) i finally can laugh out loud like who i am before. :) i am so happy being with my friends :) hehe :) everyday they made me laugh :) made me forget all my problems :) thank god for giving a friend like them :)

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I hate you, stay away from me! I am so not going to join my mother to plan for your birthday. You give her shit, you give me shit,i'll give you shit on your bloody birthday!!

Woo i am so mean.. So be it. LOL. Today physics was a give away :) can do well de :D yayay! Tomorrow chem.. And i did not study. Ugh. Since tmr paper start at 1040 i shall go to sch at 930+ and start revising ba :D hehe. I hope it will be easy like physics :) okay nothing to say. My mood is spoiled by some idiotic person in this house -.-

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HELLO :D math paper one was okay :) but my 8 marks fly away just like that ! :( UGH. haha. Tomorrow, ART 3 hours ! -.- prep work is still undone :( finish colouring one box.. still got 3 more. TIRED ! still need revise physics and chem ! woah ! All last min revision ! -.- aiyo... 
Just now math paper and Mt listening compre, i realise i was the one making alot of noise :( been coughing very bad :( sorry to those who were affected. LOL. okay gtg. got to do my art :(

Tomorrow starts the second phase of MYE. Math paper one. I dun know what to study. Looked through my notes only.. I am so nervous and scared if i cannot make it. I have the feeling that i will flunk all my subjects :( i am still chiong-ing with my art :( and i now i am sick! :( bad cough! And my asthma attack me this morning :( mummy asked vince pei me see doc.. But by the time he woke up, he call me, my asthma gone :D not totally gone but was not that bad though. So its a relief.. But he keep asking me see doc despite my asthma gone. LOL. He even bought me porridge and send it directly to my house :) haha.
Woah i seriously want to study.. But i don have the energy and mood :( walao... How... I very scared.... LOL.. :(

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Currently 1.23 AM watching live result Vote 2011 :D hah. Today is Mother's day. Nothing is plan LOL. But made a letter for her that will touch her heart de :D 
Art prep work ! I want to die le :( i struggling with it !! And i only have 3 days to finish up everything -.- This is my first time chiong my art exam ! haiyo... 
Bought new dress just now afternoon :D yay thanks mummy :) i love you :) 
okay BYE~ shall post pic on mother's day if there is any :p

:D Been having headache this few days :( ever since the faint :( went and see the doctor yesterday :D ate medicine at 4.30 and sleep until 7+ 0.0 haha ! Over dose cause ate 6 pills of panadol at sch! head damn pain and for chem test i stay strong :D LOL! i just realise that i have not ate medicine aft my lunch 0.0 no wonder i felt so dizzy still :( haha. 
Ugh have not start on my art exam!! and art exam is next tuesday! i only have 5 freaking days to complete it ! :O OMG! :( SOMEONE HELP ME! :( still got math hw and physics.. haiyo.. :( okay shall end here and i shall start with my homeworks :)

I fainted for the very first time! :o in the toilet somemore.. It goes like this, my tooth came out and there is alot of blood.. I cannot take it looking at the blood and i vomit.. Then my vision started to be black. And i fainted.. My head bang on the wall.. :( i woke up and i was lying down.. Lol. Until now my head still hurt and dizzy. Even after consuming two pills of panadol.. Gosh.. I don't like the feeling of going to faint..slowly the vision will become black.. Thats so ugh.. Haha. Okay need some rest now. Bye.

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I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt that everyone i love (my family,him and wonderfools) left me and ends up hating me :( i cried non stop in my dream and when i woke up, i felt my pillow was wet. Really wet. My eyes were still filled with tears.. And i started crying again.. Only until 540am, i began to fell asleep.. When i woke up, my eyes were red and swollen.. Now i am scared if my dream becomes a reality.. :'(

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