Its been raining since yesterday ! When will it stop ? i am so freaking cold. I am already down with a flu. 
Rain please stop. We had enough of you :D Let the sun shine please :D please be considerate :D 
I am done designing class tee. No printer , can't print LOL. Argh tmr art. I don't know what to draw :x  i have not done my reflection even though i got alot alot of things to say. I bet tmr, all the majors must share our reflection .
My parent is planning to go Malaysia during CNY :( from thursday till saturday/sunday. I don't wish to go . :(

I am so sad and disappointed in myself :c i know i could have done better! :( it was such a disgrace and it seems to be the worst nightmare :(

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Tomorrow BAND EXCHANGE ! i'm so scared :o Last band exchange, i cried and kaibin was there to cheer me up. Tomorrow he's not coming. I sure die ! Five bands some more ! i am so terribly nervous and scared. Though i am going to meet Yueqin ! :D but i don't think i can go wild with her :( i will be damn damn damn scared and nervous. this is just an Band exchange, and i am so scared. What if it is going to be SYF tomorrow???! Okay stop worrying ! i can do it ! ahhhhhh !!!!! :'( i need motivational words !!! i need to be motivated ! 

Somehow today i felt uneasy. Something worries me but i am not sure what. Darn it. :((( i'm low now and idk why. :((
I think i am falling sick :(

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I know we go through a lot of crap , but every relationship has its ups and downs , and that is normal :)
I'm sorry for every little bit of unhappiness i've caused you and i hope that every little bit of the happiness we've shared together can make up for it ♥ .
I might hate you sometimes , but i sure as hell love you all the time :)
Please know that i've always loved you , still love you , and will continue doing so for at least ...
I hope you know how much you mean to me and how much i love you , even though i always show otherwise .
You're the best and worst , dear :) And i love you for everything that you are ♥ .

You made me start my day with a big smile. AHAHA. i kept on remembering that and it made me laugh during national anthem ! 0.0 HAHAHA.

I shall make a change. Challenge the process. Since i have been doing that for months and it does not work, i shall do another way ^-^ i am going to dare myself ^-^ hopefully.

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OMG!!! SEE LA.. TEARS FALLING DOWN AGAIN!
:'( CANNOT TAKE IT ! WHY AM I SO WEAK ! 

Tears is falling my cheek!! :'(

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Those stuff keep bothering me all over again ! Especially when i know that you were somewhere around me...... zzzz... it made me remind of EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING again !!! DARN IT ! It also made me cried to sleep last night ! Why is it so BLOODY HARD ! 

Yesterday after school, went home get change and meet weekee and diyana. Then went cwp meet Azura. OH i saw Jocelyn 0.0 (Sunny's sister). Then went popular bought chem workbook for Adawiyah. Since that is the last stock. Then went Sembawang mrt station meet bryan,shane and kai meng. And off we go to SSC, HEI SHUSHI. NYOHOHOHO. ate alot 0.0 half way stop to cool down. So i gave shane's his birthday present hoho. then continue eating again. hoho. we spent about 4 hours in that restaurant! LAUGH HERE AND THERE. so fun lo. then Diyana and Weekee went buy cake for shane's belated birthday and Azura's advance birthday. cut the cake at the splash park. after eating the cake, we wanted to have some fun with the water there, but kena chase out by the security. darn it. so we just window shop. then we entered popular. i saw this book and was so interested to buy it. So called my mother for permission. hoho. she allowed, so i bought it ^_^ LOL. Then went sun plaza, causeway point. Reach home at 9pm. was so tired so i slept early. YAY! LOL.

Why is it that when boys are in love, they can say all sweet stuff like honey to their gf but all that is just a SHOW! when not tgt then the boy's true colour shows up!
If i were to ask you, wad were the promises you made with me, i doubt so you will remember! Haizzzzz...... Why am i thinking abt it anyway..... Haizzzzz....

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Somehow i am not healed.. I need to be 101% HEALED then i will stop ignoring you, stop looking away when you walk pass me. I hate hate hate hate to ignore you, i hate not saying hi when you walk pass me, i hate not talking to you, i hate treating you like a strangers but all this is because i am not healed! But the fact that i am not heal, i still text you sometimes, and thats because i...i... IDK.......... -.-
I almost burst into tears when mr keng did not call either my name or your name and thats mean we same class..... -.- i almost almost burst into tears! My heart beat damn fast -.- and its all because i am not healed! Darn it! I seriously dont know why i reacted this way.... I dont know why i am still not heal. Its been like months months months and MONTHS!!!! AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I AM SO PISSED RIGHT NOW!!!!! ARGH!!!!! Will all this just get out of my life!!!!!!???!!!!!

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This whole week was such a tiring week! Can't believe, yesterday i slept at 8pm! Hah was so damn tired. Lucky i didnt lost my voice, cause i shout alot during the cca orentation. The performance to the sec1 was a good start for us to prepare ourself for SYF. And we soubd awesome^-^ haha.
It was fun hanging and talking to them. I was pleased to hear wad he said abt me ^-^ yayness. I just wish this will go on ^-^ overall, its was such a learning and fun experience ^-^

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Without realising, its alr 5th of jan. 0.0 that reminded me of something. I guess if adawiyah never talk abt weikiat's monthsary thingy, i would not have realised that its 5th jan today. And it would not remind me of anything.
Well shall just look front now ^-^

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Omg i am si freaking tired. From yesterday till today, i felt like sleeping in class. Zzzz. Just now for that one whole hour of home period, she talj and talk and talk! Frm food stuff to david beckem (idk how to spell) to her children.. Zzzz.. Its like a bedtime story for me. Haha. Every timr i go to sch, i am just looking forward for band rather than sch. Zzz. Just now band, during drills, did my job as a major. Yayness^-^ nyohohoho. Gosh tmr gonna be a very tiring day.. Nvm resilient ^-^ nyohoho! If you are resilient, discipline and loves music, then JOIN BAND! NYOHOHOHO^-^

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WTF!!!!! I HATE HATE HATE DAMN HATE HEARING AND SEEING MY PARENTS FIGHTING!!!! WAN DIVORCE SO MUCH GO DIVORCE LA!! FIGHT EVERYDAY, STAY IN HOUSE TGT, SLEEP DIFFERENT ROOM, WHERE IS HAPPINESS?!?!! ITS FUCKING GONE!!! ITS NOW HELL!!! THEN WAD IS THE POINT STAYING TGT?! THE SAKE OF?!!! IF DIVORCE IS THE BEST THING, THEN DIVORCE! IF YOU TWO NOT HAPPY TGT THEN DIVORCE LA! STAY TGT, WITH NO LOVE, WADS THE POINT?! WADS THE FUCKING POINT OF IT! I RATHER GO DEAF HEARING YOUR ARGUMENTS AND GO BLIND SEEING YOU TWO FIGHT!

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Oh great! Tmr first day if school in 2011! Darn it! Homework anyhow do... Sure kena lecture by mdm aishah. Darn it! I am so not in a freaking mood to go sch! Darn it so much! :x

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Am i even fit to become concert master? 0.0 i am not even the best player. Its gonna be tough for me :( am i able to do it? I am able to feal tge fear and do it anyway??? Haiz.

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Same shit, different year =.= haiiz...
Feeling so down... And i dont know why... Will 2011 be good to me? I doubt so.. :'( i dont feel like going back to school :( i feel like playing music (band) ONLY. LOL. Zzzz...

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